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How to drive in Samoa if you are a local

In most countries driving is considered to be an effective method of travelling between two points. In Samoa driving is perhaps the best way in which you can demonstrate how bold and fearless you are.

LEARN TO IDENTIFY RENTAL CARS. The license plates of a large number of rental cars are prefixed by an R. Amaze your friends and family by demonstrating how you can reduce these hapless visitors to quivering wrecks.

ONLY OVERTAKE WHERE IT IS MOST DANGEROUS. What better way to demonstrate your prowess than by waiting until you come to a corner or the brow of a hill before overtaking the car in front of the car in front of you.

MAKE USE OF ALL OF THE ROAD. Why drive on the right hand side of the road, when most of the time you have all of the road available for your convenience.

DON'T SLOW DOWN ON CORNERS. If you have heeded the previous advice, you should realise that on right hand bends you can make use of the left hand side of the road, and thus not have to apply the brakes when going round corners.

NEVER IGNORE YOUR FRIENDS. Whenever you see someone you recognise, whether they be driving another vehicle, walking along the road, sitting in their house or working in the plantation, it is your duty as a good neighbour to stop immediately and converse with them. Do not look in mirror, do not signal and do not pull over to the side of the road. Never feel pressurised by the wrath of other motorists into curtailling a conversation about your brother in-law's neighbour's second cousin's taro patch, since you know that the irrate drivers behind you behave in exactly the same way..

BUS DRIVERS: KNOW YOUR RIGHTS. You drive the biggest vehicles in Samoa, behave as such. No one is going to argue. Momentum equals mass times velocity (or better still kinetic energy equals half the weight of your vehicle times the square of your speed); the faster you travel the more damage you can do, and the other road users know this. Keep the pedal to the metal and watch the roads clear infront of you.